Have you ever been misunderstood? Have you attempted to do the right or honorable thing but the result was not intended? Have you ever wanted to say, “I have had enough of _______”? Have you ever reached a point in your career, your hobby, your project at the house where the completion seems out of reach? You know, the effort has been more than enough to accomplish the desired result but at the end you wonder….umh? Why am a I doing this?
Since I began the spiritual coaching practice in 2006, I have met with many men who feel this way about an issue in their life. Historically, the discontent or lack of fulfillment rested in their vocation. Most men find their value, worth and satisfaction in their work, the job they do 40, 50, 60 hours per week, or more. They drive, press, and pursue the elusive happiness button that is hidden somewhere deep in the office under a particular file, in a drawer, on a shelf, or in the warehouse. To some, they are obsessed with finding the “golden ticket” that will give access to the chocolate factory where all desires are met, all needs fulfilled, all efforts successful. Inevitably, they become disenchanted, frustrated and stuck. But, something else more maddening and dangerous is also brewing under the surface of the discontentment at the office.
Disengagement. Men have chosen a course of apathy, contempt and, in some cases, neglect of the most important roles as a man. The truth of Scripture in Ephesians 5 tells us that “husbands are to love our wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Are you meeting your wife where she is with love (see 1 Corinthians 13) and sacrifice? Or are we judging and criticizing or simply avoiding the role of husband because other things have taken priority? The danger of indifference in our marriages creates discord, animosity and insecurity, elements of a relationship few women want in a marriage.
Disengagement. Men have chosen a similar course of action as a father, allowing the world, our culture and local influences to dictate or determine the proper manner of parenting. The truth of the Bible in Proverbs 22 tells us “train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it”. On what basis or truth are you training your child? What seeds are you casting into their life with your interest, your discipline, your direction? The danger of indifference with our children provides the opportunity for mayhem, confusion and uncertainty which is a dangerous combination for any child.
At the Center, we continue to pray for divine appointment, asking the Lord to provide the harvest of men in need of the Gospel of truth available in Jesus Christ. The truth can be best described by an acronym created by a member of our Bible study: To Run Under The Hope…of Christ! If you want to BE NECESSARY in the relationships with your wives and children, it must begin with an understanding or what Jesus Christ has done for you. The intimacy of a relationship with Christ through discipleship and community with replace the passive involvement that most men hope with improve their work, their marriages and their children.
I challenge you to take a stand to BE NECESSARY in the lives of those the Lord has entrusted to you. What say you?